In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I fill condoms, not promises.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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