Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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