i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize