i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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