Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize