There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just pee around me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize