Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize