Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even my vagina gasped.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize