in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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