I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize