It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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