Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize