R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize