How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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