I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize