i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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