So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize