what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize