we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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