My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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