What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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