wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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