Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That accounts for only three of the penises
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I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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