hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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