I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im part way to drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize