It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
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there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
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I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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