ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize