I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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