Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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