is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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