can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize