You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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