im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize