This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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