i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize