i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize