Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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