my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize