Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize