would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize