You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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