Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Randomize
Follow @tfln