The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize