I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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