You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you had me at cake vodka
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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