My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize