Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize