somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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