The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize