So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ketchup is God's man juice
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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